Saturday 2 April 2016

Don't Fall Asleep While Going Pee

There are inherent dangers associated with going pee into a jug while lying in bed late at night. Most of them involve leakage or failed completion. On the other hand, there are occasional experiences which simply defy imagination. Last night, for example. I woke up sometime in the wee small hours of the morning desperately needing to pee. I reached out, grabbed my jug, rolled onto my side, and got everything into place and position. Then, nothing.

So I had to wait. My bladder does this to me now and again, demanding attention then withholding results, as if to demonstrate that it, too, can make my life miserable. So I waited, and waited. At some point in this waiting process, I dozed off, my hands and body relaxing. It was in that instant that my bladder decided to some to life, producing what it had so recently held back. Unfortunately, in dozing off, my hands had loosened their grip and I promptly peed all over my leg.

I was fast enough in waking to stop a total dam break disaster. I reasserted my grip and aim. I swore, waking Katherine in the process. She leaped out of bed, grabbing something from the laundry hamper to act as a towel, to dry my damp leg off quickly, making sure that there was no mess left from my failed nocturnal activities. I finished what I had to do, and drifted back into slumber afterwards. It was just another thing in my life.

Accidents happen to all of us. Into every life, difficulties like this one will creep. Everyone I know has a story somewhat like this. The only real difference is that I am the only one I know who pees into a jug at night, and during the day too, making the possibility for accidents so much higher than normal. I can laugh at this; it's not the end of the world. I am grateful that Katherine was there to help me, as she so often is. But still, I really do wish I could just get out of bed like most people, and go pee like normal.

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