Wednesday 20 July 2016

I Have A Headache

I have a headache, the kind that starts at a point source and radiates outward. This one started about a quarter of the way up my skull above my right eye, and felt like a nail being hammered into my head.

I have a headache. And my left hand hurts, below the thumb where I am almost certain I have a broken scaphoid bone but the doctor said otherwise when I went to the ER.

I have a headache. My left hand hurts. And my left shoulder hurts too, starting deep inside the joint and creeping its way down to the top of my bicep, all a function of overworked muscles slowly failing on me.

I have a headache. My left hand hurts. My left shoulder hurts. So does my right shoulder, only not as bad as the left. My right side is generally better than my left, but those muscles are wearing out too, as ALS slowly takes over my upper body.

I have a headache. My left hand hurts. My left shoulder hurts. My right shoulder hurts. Oh, and my left bicep has this sort of nearly imperceptible yet consistent ache, an annoyance really, but there you go, another pain, another day.

I have a headache. My left hand hurts. My left shoulder hurts. My right shoulder hurts. My left bicep aches. And the muscles in my butt, the ones on either side of the base of my tailbone, sting from the constant pressure of sitting, this in spite of the $600 specialized wheelchair cushion beneath me.

I have a headache. My left hand hurts. My left shoulder hurts. My right shoulder hurts. My left bicep aches. My butt muscles sting. And my feet feel like someone is shoving pins and needles against the skin, constantly pricking, ever so lightly, just enough to be a distraction but not enough to be truly painful.

I'm going to take a couple of Tylenol. It's the breakfast of champions, right? And ALS is a painless disease, right? God made a mistake when he made man, or at least me. He should have made it so that, after you get a disease like ALS, you get a pass on all other aches and pains. But this is the way it is. Today.

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