Sunday 10 September 2017

A Potluck Funeral

I'm going to meet someone for coffee, someone I met online. This is a scary business, meeting new people at this stage in my progression. I have to ask myself why I am doing this, why I am even bothering to meet people. Here I am one day making end of life plans, and then the next day making plans for a date. What I think it shows is that planning for things to come doesn't mean life today has to end. After all, I'm still alive today. I want one more kick a the cat, one more chance at seduction.

This whole end of life planning has been going on for a while with me. Part of it has been the disposal process, getting rid of things I neither want nor need, things that are taking up space in my home without adding value to my life. It makes sense to lighten the load so that when the time comes, there's a lot less for my brother Peter to deal with. Why should he had to get rid of my extra, unneeded furniture when there are those around me who can make good use of it? Why should he have to throw away all my clothes when there are those around me who would like some of it, and in the end there is a GoodWill bin across the street at the mall.

The next big step in the death planning process is to identify a funeral home and pre-pay for my cremation. I don't have the money for a fancy funeral, nor does it seem a good use of money in my mind. Better to take that money, rent a hall and throw a giant party with the wine and food I leave behind. After all, I plan on dying with a full fridge, a full pantry, a full freezer, a full liquor cabinet, and a full wine rack. It will be interesting to see how successful I am in that plan.

Over the next few days I will contact several funeral homes. Of course they will all want me to come in, so they can try to upsell me to the best casket on the floor. It will likely change their approach when I tell them I have ALS and have spent all my money trying to live, rather than worrying about what happens after I die. Still, there are costs associated with dying. Better to have a plan for them in advance.

After that comes the fun part, arranging my post-mortem party. Since I don't know for sure when I am going to die, notwithstanding having MAID plans, I can't do too much on that front. For that, I will depend on Peter. I'm pretty sure he knows how to throw a party, especially with all the food and drink supplied. Anything missing can be brought by others. Imaging that. A Potluck funeral.

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