As it becomes increasingling difficult to lift and function, I become increasingly willing to allow myself to sit all day, write in my blog, read and post on Facebook, or watch something on Netflix. Note that all of these are not just passive things, but none of them have any form of direct human interaction. Sure we can chat on Facebook, but you are a thousand miles from me. If you are near me, then come visit. I need the human interaction.
Nevertheless, as weakness grows my world continues to shrink. I can still get in and out of my power wheelchair thanks to my sling. The challenge is handling whatever else comes along. It's even getting tiring to hold the joystick in one place while wheeling along. Grocery bags can be slung on the chair. Odds and ends can be put in the backpack, now permanently resident on my PWC. There there is the issue of the dreaded condom catheters. The task of putting the catheter on, without any other tasks, is enough to wear me down for an hour or two.
I like being online. My fingers still work, mostly. My arms rest on my wheelchair arms, my wrists holding them up by resting on my laptop. I like the numbers and variety of people I meed online. It fills this empty gap when I sit home alone, wishing my world was not getting smaller, wishing someone would come visit me. Being online provides me with input and interaction.
Being onliine is especially valued given the amount of time I spend alone, in solitude. While I have plenty of people around me, there still seem to be many times when I find myself alone, wishing someone was here, wishing someone would come share this time and space I have. Sure, I have online friends. But nothing beats a real hug, a real cuddle, from a real peson.
No comments:
Post a Comment