Five Hours To Get Up

Well, it only took me five and a half hours to get out of bed, dressed, and into my wheelchair today. This is clearly not normal, however much of what caused this marathon waking up process is completely a part of my new normal. What happened today is that many small things added up to being big things.

First of all, I was tired this morning when Home Care arrived at 9:30 AM. She was early; another client really needed her at noon so I let her be here early on Thursdays. As it was, her early arrival had little to do with my being tired. Last night I put myself soundly to sleep with a cookie in the afternoon and a large brownie in preparation for bed. I collapsed into sleep at about 9:30 PM. I wanted 12 hours of sleep, yet when Sam arrived, I needed a few more.

I woke up, meaning to get up, at around 1:30 PM or so. Having planned for this, I had taken my pills when Sam was here, and had had her dress me part way. I was wearing socks and boxers. I had also asked her to position my sling underneath me while I stayed in bed. That way I could just attach the sling to the lift, getting my day off and running when I was ready.

I was ready.

The first thing I discovered when lifting myself in my sling is that it was off-center, lifting one leg high and dragging the other across my bed, banging down the side of the bed, becoming lodged underneath the bed rail. I pushed from there to get into my commode chair. Unfortunately, with this odd sling positioning, I was completely unable to get properly into my commode chair. So I turned around, planning to lay down again and reset my sling.

Sadly, as it happened, my stuck foot presented a real problem when I tried to lift it onto the bed. I could not; I am not strong enough these days to lift my leg out of any sort of jam or stricture. So there I was, unable to get into my commode chair, unable to get onto my bed in a laying down position. I thought I might try sitting up instead; it's only been a few months since the last time I sat up. What could possibly go wrong?

I swung back to get bed, lowered myself, and disconnected my leg straps from my sling.

What went wrong was my inability to sit up on my own. No sooner than I had rested myself into a sitting position on the edge of the bed than I flopped over backwards. Now I was unable to reach the leg straps of my sling, unable to sit up on my own, unable to roll over, unable to do almost anything. I was a whale, trapped on the beach, not in any real danger in the short term, not able to make a positional change.

By now it had been well over an hour since I first tried to get up. I wasn't sure what to do, so I lay there for an hour or so, intermittently trying to sit up, trying to reach my leg straps. It wouldn't have mattere all that much anyways. I could have the leg straps all I wanted. Not sitting up meant I couldn't get them under my legs, back up to the lift hooks. I tried, and tried. Then I rested, and rested. Then I tried some more. Then I rested some more.

By the time I was ready to give up, I decided to call for help, specifically from the Pat and Paul, the elderly couple who live a couple of doors down. Pat came up, bringing Paul as an observer. She handed my leg straps through my legs then attached them to my lift. They were still unbalanced, but now I had help to adjust myself and my commode chair. After a great deal of struggle, I finally managed to get squarely seated on the commode chair. It was 5:00 PM.

The next thing was to get to the bathroom, then get back on the bed to redress. I managed to do that in about 40 minutes, except for putting on pants. I was expecting company. I needed pants. It's very difficult to pull on pants while laying down with the sling straps between my legs. It calls for some "adjusting", rolling from side to side, making sure the straps are not lost in the process.

I finally managed to get it all together by about 6:00 PM. I took the next 30 minutes or so to sling myself up, as balanced as possible this time, and get into my wheelchair. Now, after a suitable wait for resting and refreshment, I am up and about. And it's almost bed time again. Time for another large brownie, I think.