Another New Normal

There was blood coming out of my penis this morning. It happened after the in/out catheterization, so it's almost certain the HCA scratched either my urethra or bladder during the insertion process. To steal a comment from my brother when my Dad had a similar problem, "That's not normal, is it?"

No, it's not normal, at least not for normal people. But I am no longer normal in any sense of the word. No normal person has his or her bladder drained twice a day with a catheter. No normal person is on three different blood thinners and anticoagulants. No normal person lives his life with the kind of intrusive treatment I get on a daily basis.

Getting knicked by a catheter is normal, for those of use compelled to use them. Every now and then you are greeted by the sight of blood in your urine. What you learn to do is check it for colour and density. Bright, fresh blood is not so much a problem. Old, clotted blood means it's been there a while. That's a bad thing.

You know what else is not normal. Living in a wheelchair, having people come in twice a day to change you, to get you out of bed or put you back into bed, having someone put on your shoes or take off your pants, having to wear these God damned compression socks. Yet all of this is the new normal for me. Just like the blood coming out of my penis this morning.

I don't like this new normal.