Changes

My upper body has been in a state of fairly rapid decline. If I coul guide anyone with this disease, it would be to say "use it while you can". When you lose it, you really notice it, in both large and small ways. So here are some of the things, large and small, which have changed for me lately.

I can no longer scratch the top of my head, mostly. This is especially true if I am wearing a long-sleeved shirt. The weight of the sleeve is enough to keep my arm from lifting up to that height. So if I have an itch up there, I either have to use something else to scratch it, or somehow use one arm to lift the other high enough to get the job done. Of course this is not a constancy. On a good day, I can still scratch that itch. On a bad day, well, you know. Oh, today is a good day, so far.

I can no longer fold my large towels. I lost the ability to fold sheets some time ago. That was mainly because I could not stand up and engage the folding process properly. Now I cannot fold my larger towels, in part for a similar reason, that they are too big for me to handle, but also, in part, because they have become too heavy for me to lift. I leave it to others now.

I can no longer roll over in bed, mostly. This is, again, due to a conflation of issues. First of all, my catheter constrains me at night. If I roll over completely I run the risk of disconnection. But what is worse, even without the catheter the best I can do is roll up on my side, and not all the time. If there is the smallest of obstacles, like a sheet tucked under me or a pillow beside me, I am stuck. Once I am freed of all obstacles, I still can't do it without help. My arms are no longer strong enough to pull me over, unless the stars align and the moon shines bright. Then, maybe.

Almost every time I bend over in a mostly vain attempt to pick something up off the floor, I soil myself. Yes, that is a polite way of saying I have a bowel movement. I'm not sure why my body insists on doing this. I just happens. So these days, mostly, when I drop something, I either leave it for someone else to pick up, or I use a grabby stick.

There are all kinds of other things which have changed for me lately, what with the loss of my arms. While this process is not complete, it is moving along. Other things will change. I will decline. That's just the way it is.